11. I went to the doctor the other day and said: "Have you got anything for wind?" So he gave me a kite.
12. My mother-in law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
13. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought: "He's trying to pull a fast one."
14. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
15. Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do you drive this thing?"
16. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day - but I couldn't find any.
17. When Susan's boyfriend proposed she said: "I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them as a husband".
18. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that.
19. I rang up BT and said: "I want to report a nuisance caller." The operator said: "Not you again."
20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week. I rang her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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